Kaylee Muthart, a young woman from Anderson, South Carolina, has opened up about the deeply personal and traumatic experience that led her to tear out her own eyes while under the influence of methamphetamine.
Once a straight-A student and member of the National Honor Society, Kaylee’s life took a dramatic turn after leaving school at 17 to focus on her health and work. She had dreams of studying marine biology, but by the age of 18, she found herself regularly drinking and using marijuana. Despite avoiding hard drugs due to a family history of addiction, one incident would change everything.
At 19, Kaylee unknowingly smoked marijuana laced with another substance. The intense high made her feel spiritually awakened, but also betrayed by the friend who gave it to her. Her mental health began to spiral, and she soon left her job and never returned to school.
Struggling with feelings of loneliness and instability, she began experimenting with Xanax and eventually methamphetamine. The drug caused vivid hallucinations and self-harm episodes. She became isolated, lost her job, and fell deeper into addiction, later turning to ecstasy and combining it with distorted interpretations of the Bible.
Though her mother tried repeatedly to get her help, the legal system limited intervention since Kaylee had not yet harmed herself or others. She even agreed to go to rehab, but before that could happen, she relapsed, taking her largest dose of meth yet.
Still under the influence the next day, Kaylee wandered onto a railroad track, believing she had to sacrifice something precious to “save the world.” In her drug-induced psychosis, she gouged out both of her eyes with her bare hands.
A local pastor heard her screaming, “I want to see the light!” and rushed to stop her. She was found holding her eyes, which were still partially attached. Emergency services sedated her and airlifted her to a hospital, where surgeons removed what remained of her eyes to prevent infection.
While this was happening, her mother was at the courthouse trying to obtain a court order to have her committed, just moments too late.
Kaylee spent a week in the hospital and then entered a psychiatric treatment facility, where she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She has remained committed to her recovery and says she rarely accepted pain medication during her hospital stay, wanting to stay drug-free.
Now blind, Kaylee has a new perspective on life. She says she feels hopeful about the future and is even still dreaming of pursuing her goal of becoming a marine biologist.
“It took losing my sight to get me back on the right path,” she shared. “But from the bottom of my heart, I’m so glad I’m here.”
Her powerful story is not only a testimony to resilience but also a sobering reminder of the devastating effects drug use can have on mental health, and how compassion and proper support can help someone rebuild their life.
