Kaylee Muthart, once a straight-A student and aspiring marine biologist, took a difficult path that led her to a life-changing and shocking decision at the age of 20.
Born in Anderson, South Carolina, Muthart was a dedicated student until health struggles, including a heart arrhythmia and long hours working to save for a car, caused her grades to slip. She eventually left school midway through her junior year, intending to return after a break to focus on saving money and improving her health.
By 18, Muthart was drinking alcohol socially and smoking weed regularly. Despite a family history of addiction, she avoided harder drugs, until a particularly strong high at 19 led her to believe she had experienced a spiritual connection with God. She suspected that the marijuana she smoked had been laced with stronger substances like cocaine or methamphetamine. This experience changed her perspective, leading her to distance herself from her friend and the job she had at the time.
Muthart’s life began to spiral after that. She fell deeper into substance abuse, using Xanax to cope with anxiety and eventually turning to methamphetamine. Despite struggling with her addiction, she continued to misinterpret the Bible while high, convincing herself that these substances brought her closer to God. Her downward spiral was marked by increasing isolation, hallucinations, and even self-harm, with Muthart eventually shooting methamphetamine alone, becoming trapped in a cycle she could not escape.
Her mother, desperate to help, recorded conversations to try to prove that Kaylee needed professional intervention. However, Kaylee refused to go to rehab, saying she had things under control. Then, one day, after a particularly severe episode, Muthart took an overdose of methamphetamine. Hallucinating, she believed the world was about to end and that she had to sacrifice something important, her own eyes, to save it.
Muthart tore her eyes out in a terrifying moment of delusion, guided by what she thought were signs. A man she knew, with a Biblical name, drove by and called out to her, which Muthart took as confirmation. In a desperate frenzy, she gouged out her eyes using her fingers. Her screams were heard by a pastor, who restrained her just in time. When paramedics arrived, they airlifted her to the hospital where emergency surgery was performed to remove what remained of her eyes and preserve her optic nerves.
Though her mother was attempting to have her committed to a psychiatric facility, she arrived too late. Muthart spent a week in the hospital, where she was offered pain relief but chose to remain drug-free, determined to recover. She was later transferred to an inpatient psychiatric facility and diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Though Kaylee is now blind, she remains hopeful for the future. With a renewed sense of purpose, she still dreams of becoming a marine biologist. “Losing my sight was what I needed to get my life back on track,” Muthart said. “I’m grateful to be here.”
